A is for Africa, B is for Boxes

I can't sleep. I should really post my trip itinerary on the side of this page like most people seem to do but

A) I just haven't, and

B) I don't know, I had a "B" in mind, but it was dumb and has no permission to see cyberspace.

Well I already know that I really really want to do some (alot) of working/living in Africa, particularly South Africa. I am, and have been for a long time (since all my friends have known me, at least) really really amazed at and blown over by anything clearly or even remotely African. I love everything. I love it. I want to be one with it. I love the cultures the music the people, and I don't really even know enough to consider myself an expert or even a baby expert on any of those subjects.

So obviously the African countries on the itinerary are most painful for me to be not-yet-experiencing.

Yknow how whenever you super hype something up, and everyone is talking about how great it is (or they aren't in some cases but you're still stoked) and you can't breathe or think other thoughts, and then you experience it and it's just not that great of a feeling, even if the event is great mostly because it was hyped up and romanticized and ****?

Well that is not going to happen.

That happened to me with Across the Universe.

That happened to me with many things.

But not Africa.

Drum circles will always make me fall over with glee, I will never look half-Mexican, and I will always love Africa.

Everything else about my nature is completely up in the air.

Want to make a change? Let me know, and my subconscious might consider it.

Just don't even try with any of the above.

It's just a no-can-do.

Losing one's proverbial shit is just the best feeling every, am I right?

Also, I've been thinking about the song "I'm on a Boat" lately. Assuming it falls under the "song" category.

So basically, I think it's understood that that song has popped into almost every SAS-ers head, or they have mentioned something about playing it everyday, or wanting it to be their theme song, or whatever.

And like, yeah, it'll be cool for a couple rounds.

But I'm trying to sit and imagine what it must have felt like to be a part of the SAS staff when that song came out, and when they realized everyone would be singing it for the remainder of Semester-at-Sea's boaty lifetime.

At first they probably smiled and laughed and thought it was cool. Then they probably smiled and laughed for another month and thought it was a silly applicable theme for their boaty career.  Then they probably thought about what that would mean for the rest of their boaty future, and for all the kids who are excited to sing it every boaty day. And that probably stewed in their minds for a wee bit. And then they probably boaty cried.

I want to study abroad another semester.

Through a PARTNER program mind you, none of this affiliate hogwash.

But I don't think I will be able to afford it.

Furthermore, I want to go to culinary school even though I can't cook, I want to be a food-taster at Trader Joe's because it is a real job so wanting to do that is inevitable and a tease and GOD I want to be a food-testertaster at Trader Joe's, I want to get a double major in psych even though I also want to study myriad other things and have no room, I want to go to grad school for drama therapy and for like five other things, I want to have five billion careers, 

I want to learn more instruments, I want to learn every language, I want to go back in time and slap whiny grade school Cosette for quitting dance like a whiny grade school PRICK, I want to eat something but I don't know what, and I want to learn so many things but apparently that costs money a lot of the time.

My plan is to pay off all my debts and then go live in a box.

But the box is in a foreign country, and so I like it there. 

And sometimes passersby give me wine and cheese and I like that too.

This will be in place of my previous plan, which was to go to school as long as possible and study as many things as possible, and then cut myself off from all family and friends and change my name and be a hermit and die alone and then my debts will just disappear.....

Maybe I can combine both plans.

The excessive school expenses and the living in the box.

Oh wow. They're like perfect for each other. Eureka. Ohmygod.

Nobody's going to ask me my name or if I've paid my debts off,

I'm the homeless lady in the box who likes it there.

I'm unsafe and potentially disease-ridden and should be quarantined.

But of course, no one will do that either, because they will have to touch my box.

I had a dream last night that me and a couple friends were homeless and it was Thanksgiving so we got plates at the free-plate sample table and ran around Costco several times collecting free food samples to go eat on the lawn outside proudly. Oh, and "Thankfully".

I feel like my dream is condoning my homeless box-dom.

"I'm in a BOX, mother****r, don't you eeee'er forget."

Mostly I think planning can be really soul-crippling, but sometimes, it is way too much fun.